I'd consider these photos to be a reinvention of myself in self-portrait form. One night, I was itching to do something a bit more editorial and slightly abstract, and this is what I stumbled upon. To me, these images represent youth, specifically my youth.
As I approach my college years, I'm fearful of losing my sense of kiddish imagination to the brutal realities of adulthood and the sneakily sadistic arts industry. My goal was to capture my childlike spirit in a type of dress-up photoshoot, somewhat as a concluding moment before I leave my makeshift bedroom studio behind and take up a new home next Fall.
The makeup was intended to be doll-like, like I am putting on this mask of youthful femininity, with the gloves being symbols of the innocence and imagination associated with being a child and dressing up in your mother or grandmother's old clothes.
The piece with my gloves framing my face is meant to represent my entering into maturity, while the images with the yellow sweater and the text "Don't point the finger at me!" are meant to parallel the childhood fantasies we often made reality through role-playing with friends when we were younger.
The image with the text "let me be your guilty pleasure" is referencing naivete and memories long past. I often find myself fixated on what has been instead of what is, and recently I have been attempting to shift this mentality. I've realized that along with growing older, I have to let go of the sadness that comes with abandoning childhood. But in the process, I've also recognized that this is counterproductive to my creative process.
I pull many of my ideas from experiences of my childhood, and while there's a lingering bittersweet tinge over the memories, they remind me of how far I've come. For me, allowing myself to be naive and kiddishly carefree is a guilty pleasure. Rarely do I feel as if I can indulge myself in things other than that which is practical (and, in a way, cynical) so returning to the abstract and fantastical for my photos keeps me grounded in a sense.
With all of the pieces combined, my goal was to create a set that communicates a whimsical atmosphere representative of our inner child, an entity that deserves to be remembered and used as a source of inspiration and grounding rather than shunned.
