nebulas // birth of a star by yagyesha roycover photo by valerie loshe is five the first time she goes to a museumand sees art. she wonderswhat it would be liketo create some herself. to bring to lifeeven the beginningsof a masterpieceby her own hand. ( she is fivethe first time she looks at the starsin awe and not in boredom. she fantasizes aboutwhat it would be liketo reach out and touch one. to feeleven the remnantsof stardustin her palm. )she is eightthe first time she hears the phraseour starving artists. she wondershow much moneyartists make. can they evensupport themselvesespecially in this economy?could she becomecould she evencould she survive( she is eightthe first time she learns about astrophysicsand realizes it is about starsand science. she fantasizes aboutwhat it would be liketo study science and not artwould she be ableto support herselfespecially in this economy?she could becomeshe could haveshe couldn’ther parents would be proud. )she is eleventhe first time she drops the penciland stops drawing. she wonderswhat it would be likestuck in a boring futurewould she be stable?would she be safe?would she be happy?( she is eleventhe first time she looks up at the starsin anger and disgustinstead of awe. she fantasizes aboutwhat it would be like to love only the stars and stark lab coatsto not leave longing glances at paint stained jeans and fingertips. )she is twelvethe first time she realizesthat poetry is just as powerful as artshe wonderswhat it would be liketo create some herself. to weave words on a pageinto something moresomething wholethat she could call her own( she is twelvethe first time she realizesthat she can love the stars and hate science. she fantasizes aboutwhat it would be liketo realize this from the startto not be plaguedby a series of questionsuntil this sudden clarity. )she is thirteenthe first time she picks up a penciland starts writing. ( she is thirteenand too old to fantasize aboutmapping constellations with her mind. she knowsabout gravityand the universeand space. she is thirteenand too old to fantasize aboutwalking on the moon. she knowsabout michael collinsand nasaand budget cuts. she is thirteenand too old to fantasize aboutreaching the stars with her fingertips. she knowsabout astrophysicsand rocket scienceand calculus. she knowsabout supernovasand black holes and how touching the stars would burn her. she is thirteen. she is thirteen, and holding a pencil in her hand. and maybejust maybeshe thinksi can become a star myself. ) Yagyesha RoyMarch 7, 2021Comment Facebook0 Twitter LinkedIn0 Reddit Tumblr Pinterest0 0 Likes
