I love showing off my sexuality, whether it be taking nudes or wearing revealing clothing. It's just something that makes me feel good. But oftentimes I have a split second moment of annoyance when I notice a man looking at me and perceiving me. Do I confirm something to them? Do I look like a trope to them? Throughout history, Asian women have been burdened with harmful sexual stereotypes, ranging from fierce Dragon Ladies to submissive housewives. In recent times, porn has just amplified those stereotypes, making it easier for Asian women to be perceived as sex fantasies and racist characters. One time a white man yelled out "me love you long time" as I was walking by and I was suddenly aware of how he saw me. It's one thing to be catcalled, but to sprinkle a little racism in there? Amazing. Sometimes I wonder how the man I'm in bed with sees me and makes me angry that I even have to worry about my race while I'm having sex. The Oni masks symbolize my desire to be sexually free while warding off the racially conditioned male gaze. I am sexy for my own approval and consumption, and it's hard to share a space with a population that historically has treated women's bodies (especially POC women) as an object for their own entertainment. I am no one's Pornhub category and I am not your waifu. F**k off.
